Final Countdown

Wow hard to believe we are in the final countdown to travel.   We are busy packing and preparing.  Practicing Mandarin in our spare time, wow what a hard language to learn.

Last Sunday was Fathers Day.  On that day I had the privileged of baptizing Shaun. Additionally we received some great photos and videos of Hannah, what a special day.

Stay tuned to the blog for more details and updates from the trip.

Here are some videos and photos of our beautiful soon to be daughter Hannah Joy.   Wont be long now.

And Now!

Well it appears that everything is in place for our upcoming travel to get Hannah.  It has been frustrating beyond measure. 

We have never come so close to saying uncle and walking away from an adoption.   Cost are unbelievably high and our agency has been a pain lots of hidden fees and just generally hard to work with.  However at the end of the day something that I said during our second adoption kept coming back to haunt me.

When we were considering adopting Shiyan we had major concerns about her condition and wondered if we were properly equipped to handle it.  One day we were talking and praying and I said "To not accept this child would be no different than having an abortion"  So we decided to move forward.  That evening we called a friend to talk about her medical condition and that friend said that at lunch that day they were talking and said "to not accept a child like this would be much like having an abortion".  So we knew this was a word from God for us.

For us aborting one of our biological kids was never an option or even a thought so when this came into play with the adoption it really hit us.  So when this adoption got tough these words kept running through my mind and we decided to keep moving forward.

One other thing is that for past adoptions we have not done any fund raising or grant applications but this time we considered it.  A couple of months ago a local church reached out to us and asked us to apply for their grant through Lifesong for Orphans.We applied and this week learned that we have been given a $3000 matching grant.    We will be posting in the coming days about how you can become involved in this if you feel led to contribute.  This will at least help offset the cost of plane tickets for our upcoming trip.  Thanks for prayerfully considering this.

More updates to come.

Closer to some peace

Well we are getting closer.  We have decided to move forward provided our agency comes through with some updated documents.   We hope to have that in the next day or two.

This morning I went back and read some of my own blog posts from late last year and early this year.   Amazing how your own words have a way of putting things in perspective.  That is one reason I like to blog.   Also the words from Shiyan's adoption continue to run through my head.  I will talk more about this later.

We will update you with more in the coming days.  In the mean time pray for everything to come together.  Pray for Hannah to be prepared for us and for all the change that will happen.  Pray for her to adapt to English quickly and for us to be able to communicate with her as she adapts. Pray for all the financial aspects of the adoption to come together.

Thanks for your prayers.

Here are a few more recent photos of Hannah for you to see. 

Frustration and Decisions!

So every adoption has it's days of frustration and this one has been no exception.  I will have to say that in may ways this adoption has been the most frustrating we have ever done.

A lot of it is the agency that will for now remain unnamed.  On the good side the lady we work with most of the time has been great, she is available day or night, she has made the paperwork very easy and removed a lot of barriers there.   But on the other side the agency itself is a pain to deal with, their documentation and contracts are the worst I have ever seen.  There have been multiple times that we have said "NO WAY" and refused to sign documents until they corrected them.  I cant believe that others just sign these when they are blatantly wrong.   I want documentation to be correct and expect the agency to be on top of these things.  I want to be able to trust them but I just don't.  In my professional life I have to judge people and situations quickly and my gut just does not trust this agency it has not from early in the process and likely never will.  This is my 6th adoption and fourth agency and I have never felt like this toward an agency.     Were it not for our primary contact being so helpful and the fact that we know she is a believer I would have stopped the adoption very early in the process.

Then on the negative side of the lady we are working with, she is stubborn and set in her ways.    If it is not the way she does it then it is wrong.  Debating with her is difficult like running in circles.  We have had to push back to get the Beijing tours which they normally don't do.  Flying back from Hong Kong was a major deal that they did not like.  Travel arrangements have been a nightmare.  That is mostly done now with exception of the in country part (thus the latest frustrations).  I have literally spent hours on the phone with this person that I have yet to meet.  I feel like we have become friends during this process.  If we go forward we will get to meet her in just a few short weeks.

There have been so many times in the adoption where I just wanted to throw up my hands and walk away.    I am here again now.  We are within a month of meeting our daughter and I am so frustrated that I just want to give up.    It seems like the agreements and contracts with this agency just never end and the fees just keep going up.   The cost of this adoption with be over twice what we paid on the first one and is up 60% from our adoption just 4 years ago.    Estimates of in country cost are way higher than we expected.   We are traveling during peak tour season so hotels are higher,(thankful for Marriott points to offset some of this)  air fare is higher, little things like getting a van and driver are outrageous, the cost just keep growing. 

We know that God can and will provide but in the heat of the battle it is hard to keep your eyes on this.   For the first time in our adoptions we looked into grants but only met the criteria for one.  We are still waiting to hear back from that one but it will be a matching grant and this late in the process that wont help much if we even get it.   

I am just tired.  Tired of paperwork, tired of fighting with adoption agencies, tired of the pouring out of money to get a child home, tired of spending most of my free time working on something adoption related.  I am just tired.

Now the big question do we go forward or give up.  I think I know the answer but am praying that God will clearly show me that we are on the right track.   I am ready for this one to be over. 

But then the real challenge begins with helping a 6 year old adjust to a new life in a new place with a language she does not know with people she does not know.   Are we up for this?  Are we the right family for her?  Is this place best for her?

Putting my thoughts down here helps. It helps to vent, it helps to document how I feel it helps to let others take a peak under the curtain that is the life of an adoptive parent.

Early in this adoption a dear friend lead us to a bible verse that on the surface has nothing to do with adoption but for me it did.  Acts 8: 26 to 40 the story of the Ethiopian Eunuch.  In versus 30 and 31 Philip asked "do you know what you are reading?"   and the man responds "How can I unless someone explains it to me"   that really impacted me as we know we have a chance to explain the gospel to another child.   

The above combined with words I spoke during our second adoption (more on that another day) dig deep into my heart and force me to press on with things that frustrate me and scare me. 

Pray for us as we make final decisions and arrangements to get Hannah home. Pray for us to make the right choices for everyone involved.  For us to have patience as we with people and circumstances that frustrate us.  Pray for God to be at the center of this adoption and all that we do and for God to be honored in whatever the outcome of this is.

We do covet your prayers right now and trust that all will work out.

TA and firm dates

We received our TA yesterday and today managed to get flights booked.

We have hotel for Beijing and Guangzhou booked too.    The agency will take care of the rest of the in country details for us next week.

So glad to have this part done and to know when we are leaving and when we will meet our daughter.

This evening I was told that the care givers are telling her that we are coming soon and preparing her for us.    I can not imagine how hard it will be for her to leave the only life she has known for 6 years behind.  To leave her friends, the place where she has lived, the sounds, the smells, the language, everything will be so different for her.

We are so ready to get over there and get her home.    We will be several more weeks before we can head that way.   Flights were very expensive and we had to look for the most affordable time to go. 

We will update you as things get closer.

We are thankful to be at this point and appreciate all the prayers and support we have received. 

another step done

As of today we are Article 5.  We should have travel dates in the next couple of weeks.  We are ready to get this moving and go get Hannah. 

Stay tuned it is about to get exciting.

Getting closer

We have continued to move along toward getting Hannah home.   We received our NVC letter this week so now we wait on the article 5 and then Travel Approval.   We hope to have TA in about 3 weeks. 

If all continues according to plan then she should be home by around July 4th to celebrate her new country with her family.

We are thankful that this process has gone so smoothly and quickly.  We are ready to get her home with us.

We will continue to keep everyone updated as we get closer to the big event.

The Wedding

So earlier this week I mentioned that our youngest biological son got married last Saturday.

The wedding was beautiful.   We were blessed to have most of our family at home.   One of our sons had to miss the wedding due to being in Israel on a church trip.   Our oldest was home with his wife and two children and it was great to spend time with them.   My oldest brother and sister in law came and brought my mom so that was great too.   Robins Nephew and his wife were here.  So all in all we had a great time with Family.

It was a great day seeing Stephen marry the girl of his dreams Anna.  We have known Anna for nearly 20 years and she has been in and out of our home a lot over those years.  Even when they were just friends and not dating, Anna loved our other kids and they loved her.    We even met up with her at Disney once when she worked there and we were there.   We know her parents and are thankful to join our family with hers.





It is hard to put the day into words but seeing Anna's dad walk her down the isle and to see the look on Stephens face as she came down the isle was priceless.



Having 7 of our 8 kids involved in the wedding was great.  Our oldest was an usher, the girls were all Jr. Bridesmaids and the boys were "Ring Security".

We are thankful for our growing family and for the addition of Anna.  Now we wait on Hannah to get home and join us too.   We should be in the home stretch now and hope to have her home this summer.

We have been truly blessed in so many ways.  Our 3 sons have each married wonderful wives.  Our girls are growing up so quickly and the 2 younger boys are growing up too.

Hard to believe that 6 years ago this week we were just meeting Shaun and will celebrate his adoption day and birthday this week.  He has come so far in the last 6 years and is turning into such a fine young man.

Stay tuned more updates coming soon.

Updates and Adoption 101

First the updates.    We are now LSC (Letter Seeking Confirmation) for Hannah so that means we are approved by China.  We now wait on the US again for their next approval. Hopefully travel this summer.

Second update, our third oldest son was married this weekend.  More on that and photos later this week.

The third part is an adoption 101 course for those that don't understand how adoption works.   If you are familiar with adoption you probably already know this but if not, here is a chance to learn a bit. 

We had a number of family members here for the wedding this weekend and during conversation with my mom heard that people back my little home town are talking about us adopting again and some of these wonderful misguided people have started the rumor that the only reason we are adopting is because we get money from the government for each child we adopt.   Well brothers and sisters let me tell you that nothing could be further from the truth.

I will start by saying I am not posting this to give credit to us, but to educate people that don't know.    If anyone deserves any credit it is God who has provided for our needs and has blessed us with the ability and willingness to adopt.

First each and every one of our adoptions has been led by God himself.  He has prompted us to adopt and we have prayerfully considered and even wrestled over each decision.   For example the adoption of Hannah was proceeded by about 1 year of us praying about adopting again.   First Robin feeling led to adopt and me saying NO!.   Then our prayers turning to be "God please either take the burden from her to adopt or give it to me! But whatever your will is give that will to both of us"   Finally that happened.

Once we were given Hannah's file, I was still saying no but continued to pray about it.   Interestingly enough during the week when we had to make a decision I had 3 people ask me out of the blue, using the exact same words in reference to our adoptions, say "Can you honestly say you are done". Several other things occurred during that week that made it clear to both of us that God was offering us the opportunity to adopt this child.

Now lets get to money.   The information I am giving is about our case and does not apply to everyone.  I am sure there are those out there getting assistance but not us.  During that week we were praying about adopting again we had checks show up that amounted to the initial cost of the adoption.  These came from a refund from a previous adoption, also a return of deposits we had made on previous post placement visits and other surprise money.

Now that we are talking about money lets get into that.   A typical international adoption cost upwards of $30,000 each.  This includes cost of a home study, fees to the adoption agency, fees to US immigration, fees to the foreign government, fees for travel to that country etc.   So lets do some math here.  We have completed 6 adoptions in the last 14 years so that is roughly $180,000 that we have laid out over the years.

Now on to the question of government assistance.   We have never received a single penny from the government to assist with our adoptions or to reimburse for fees.  None of our children are on any type of government assistance and do not receive any government aid.   Quite to the contrary.   My employer no longer offers a family medical plan so each time we add a child our cost for health insurance goes up about $3000 per year.   Not to mention that we have adopted children that have medical needs so we actually end up paying a lot more in deductibles, copays etc.   To go even further we have never applied for any grants or assistance to help with adoption expenses.   We have done this on our own out of cash flow or savings.    I will go on to say that we want to thank God for providing for us in amazing ways.  I have received consulting gigs that have helped pay expenses, found money, gifts etc. but never a dime of government assistance.

For us adoption is a clear calling from God.  He has put a burden on both of our hearts to love and care for children.  We have been more blessed by our adopted kids than you can imagine.   Both of us often say we would do it all over again.

Bottom line;  adoption is expensive and it is not easy.  We are not wealthy but have chosen to invest in the lives of children so they can have a better life.  Some of these kids come from very difficult places and need a lot of love and understanding.    There have been days when we wonder what have we gotten ourselves into.   But most days we are thankful that when God called we said yes and went down that road.

Adoption is not for everyone and it is not for the weak of faith or faint of heart.   But if you are willing to go down that road there are blessings beyond measure. 

If you ever have questions about adoption we are glad to sit down and talk to you about it.   We both have a strong calling to adopt and love to see children find their forever families.

A trip down memory lane

It is hard to believe that two weeks from today Stephen will be married Anna.    Today was a day full of working around the house getting things ready for family to visit for the wedding.  We worked outside most of the day which was great and we accomplished a lot.

One task we did today was to help Stephen and Anna go through old photos to get some growing up photos to use at the wedding.  It was fun to look back at the 3 boys growing up and to watch our family grow over the years. 

A couple of my favorite photos were from 2007 when we traveled to adopt Shiyan.  The three boys and Laura all went with us. It was one of my favorite trips.   Here are a couple of photos from that trip. 







The boys on the Great Wall of China in the snow.









This is day 1 in Beijing with the boys and Laura just before we headed out to see the sights.

It was one of my favorite trips that we took as a family.  The boys were all there to watch us grow.  They got to experience a got ya day and to see where their adopted siblings are from.   They experienced China, the culture, the people, the food.  It was a great trip

Well in two weeks the family grows as we add Anna to the family.   Then in a few months we will add Hannah.    I so wish that the three girls and the boys could go with us on this trip but it will probably only be the boys.  It is just too expensive to take everyone.  but wouldn't it be great to have the all the younger kids there with us as Hannah becomes part of the family.     Maybe some day we can all go back and visit the country together.

Pray that the wedding goes well.  Pray that our LOA comes quickly for Hannah and that we get TA soon after that.  We really want to get her home with us as soon as we can.

LID

Well we found out this week that we were officially LID on March 1st.  So our paperwork is into the government system in China for processing.   We continue to wait at this point so not much to report. 

We are working on the next round of paperwork that we will need for the US side so that will be ready and waiting.

For now we refocus and deal with our son's upcoming wedding.  That will keep us busy for the next 3 weeks. 

We will update you as we know more. 

New pictures

Today we received 3 new photos of Hannah Joy and 2 videos.

First we cant believe how much she has changed.  her face is fuller.  It is hard to tell how much she has grown due to the layers and layers of clothing on her.   It looks like her long hair has been put up in a little bun.  We are so thankful to see that smile.

These photos confirm for us that she received her Christmas package and that she now knows about us.   One of the items we sent was a photo album introducing our family and we sent a letter asking the care givers to tell her we are coming for her.   She has pictures of all of her siblings, photos of our home and of her room.

This may not sound like a big deal to a lot of people but it is huge for us.   One of my prayers each adoption is that someone there would be telling our children that we are coming for them.  We also pray that there are believers there that are telling her about Jesus.

We anxiously await the next steps so we can get her home to be a part of our family.

 Here she is with her items from the Christmas package.  The candy was for sharing with her friends.

 You may notice in her hands is a photo album with a photo of us.  This will help so much so she will recognize us when we get there.  Hopefully her caregivers are telling her that we are mamma and Baba (daddy)

In this picture she is looking at the photos with one of her care givers.

DTC

Those three letters we work so hard to get, today we are DTC (Documents to China).   This means that we go into the next wait mode.   

The next letters we need are LID (Log in Date).  Then we wait for LOA (Letter of Approval), the TA (Travel Approval), CA (Consulate Appointment) which then allows us to travel to bring Hannah home.

We wait on their government to process our application.  Then once they approve us we file another request with our government for final approval and then we get our travel approval and then book travel.  This means we could go any time from July to the end of the year.  We are hoping for July or August (although it will be so HOT there that time of year).  Pray with us that things move very quickly and that we can get Hannah home.

We are thankful to have a strong advocate working with us, she is a wealth of information and has the same goal as us to get Hannah home.

We will continue to post updates as we get them.

Big Families

Big families are quite rare these days.  People think you are strange or even crazy.  People don't understand or whatever.   Today at basketball we were talking with another family that has 6 kids from 15 to about 3 (all bio).  We have friends that have 14 from adult to young teens. 

Big families are different in many ways.   Your kids tend to become closer with each other.  They learn to lean on each other.   Simple things are a bit more complicated like going to the store with the kids, getting out the door to church, going to dinner, going on vacation.   One thing is for sure not many people invite you over for dinner (just cant understand why?)

Another thing about a large family is you likely own a church bus for one of your vehicles.   We happen to love our 15 passenger van. 

Going on trips is fun, you hear some interesting conversations between the kids in the van.   It takes 2 hotel rooms to put up all of our kids.  When we go visit family we end up with parts of the family at multiple homes often.

Our 9 are spread out across the years with 3 being out on their own for the past several years but 5 at home now and 1 on the way.

Big families are not for everyone but it is right for us.   We love our big family and would not trade it for anything.   We now anxiously wait to see how Hannah Joy fits in with this crowd.  How long will it take her to adapt to the big family?  Will it just seem like the environment that she has been living in?   Time will tell. 

For us we know that a big family was the right choice for us and it is part of Gods plan for our family.

Adoption Update

Well today is a red letter day.   Today we received Immigration approval to adopt Hannah Joy.  This is the final document we need to all of our documents can go to China.   So now the last of the authentication happens and we should be DTC (Documents to China) in the next week or so.

We then wait for their processing of our request and once we receive the Letter of Approval then we request a consulate appointment and then back into our travel schedule.   We hope to travel some time this summer.   She is way down south so we hope to get over there before it gets too hot but will go whenever approved.

We are excited to have this step done.  Now we wait some more.  Not much for us to do at this point other than save money for travel. 

We will post updates here as we can.   Thanks for your prayers and encouragement.

Progress

We continue to make progress on Hannah Joy's adoption.

This week we had our immigration finger prints and our Dossier is complete with the exception of immigration approval which we are praying comes quickly.

We have started converting the guest room into her room.  We will get painting done and wait to remove the large bed after Stephen & Anna's wedding, this way we will have room for family to stay during that week. 

We are praying that approvals move quickly and that we can head to China in May or June but you never know in this process.  So much of it is beyond our control.   All we can do is hurry up and wait.

The agency we are working with this time has been great so far.  They have taken care of so much of the process for us and have been great to review documents and respond quickly.  Most evenings I can send a draft to Esther and have feedback within an hour or so.   The lady we are working with seems to always be right there and available.

We are waiting on updated pictures of Hannah and hopefully updated measurements so we know what size clothing she will wear.   We are all anxious to get on to the next steps and get her home.

Every day takes us a day closer to her.

That is the update for this week.   We will keep you posted along the way.

Thanks for following along with us.

Merry Christmas

We have a very dear friend that has walked through most of our adoption journey's with us.  On her last one we were in the process for Shawn and traveled to get him just after Vicki got home with Mary.  Vicki has become like a sister to both of us and is loved dearly by our entire family.

She was there with us to pray about Hannah and listened and provided spiritual support and guidance.  Friends like this are rare and valued.    When we were trying to decide what to do she was the one we called and asked to come over and talk with us.    One Sunday we all sat down around our kitchen table and talked about another possible adoption.    I know in my heart that God used her to speak to us that evening.   She looked at us and quoted a story from the bible to us and said "I have no idea what this verse has to do with adoption but it is on my heart"  That very verse had been in my daily devotion just the day before.  I pulled it up and began reading and was overcome with emotion.  At that time it became very clear to me that another adoption was in our path.   I tried to tell this story to a friend this week and to this day can not get through it without crying because I know that God used Vicki and the story of the Ethiopian Eunuch to speak to me.

All that to say there is another Christmas song that I have deliberately avoided this year.  The song is "Merry Christmas" by Third Day.  Well last Sunday my dear friend texted me and sent a link to that very song.  I still did not listen to it but have it playing in the background now as I type this post.  I still struggle to read the words which are below.

There's a little girl trembling on a cold December morn

Cyin' for momma's arms
At an orphanage just outside a little China town
Where the forgotten are

But half a world away I hang
The stockings by the fire
And dream about the day
When I can finally call you mine

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
So tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in His arms
And tell you from my heart, I wish you a Merry Christmas

As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights
I'm warmed by the fire's glow
Outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white
And make angels in the snow

And half a world away you try
Your best to fight the tears
And hope that heaven's angels come
To carry you here

It's Christmas time again but you're not home
Your family is here and yet you're somewhere else alone
So tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in His arms
And tell you from my heart, I wish you a Merry Christmas

And Christmas is a time to celebrate the Holy Child
And we celebrate His perfect gift of love
He came to us to give His life and prepare a place for us
So we could have a home with Him above

It's Christmas time again and now you're home
Your family is here so you will never be alone
So tonight before you go to sleep, I'll hold you in my arms
And tell you from my heart and I'll tell you from my heart
I wish you a Merry Christmas

If you want to listen to the song here is a link to it.  Third Day Merry Christmas  or https://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=KZPL6GNX  

So here in our house we have that 17th stocking that each day reminds us that one of our children is not yet here and is in an orphanage in a little China town.   As with our 5 previous adoptions I try to pray daily that God will place believers around Hannah that they will start telling her about us and about Him.  And we look forward to the day when she will be home with us with her forever family.

So our growing family would like to wish a very Merry Christmas to you and your's. 

All I Really Want for Christmas

In my last blog I talked a little about a song by Steven Curtis Chapman titled All I Really Want For Christmas.   This song has brought me to tears a few times in the past.

I have to admit I have really been on the fence about adopting again and a part of me really did not want to adopt but I really felt God leading us to do this.   Driving back from Thanksgiving with 9 of us in the van this song came on and I found tears flowing from my eyes.   Then I realized that God had connected my heart to a child half way around the world that I have not even met yet.   My heart was breaking that she would be in an orphanage this Christmas and not with us at home. 

I had some solace in knowing that she would receive a package from us before Christmas and in that package would be information and photos of her new family.  My prayer became that the caregivers would start telling her about us and reassuring her that she would have a forever family soon.

Funny that a song could help me connect the dots and connect my mind and my heart to let me see that God had selected Hannah Joy to be our daughter and to be a part of our family.  I had no idea that my heart had connected with this child in this way already.   On the hard days when I want to question why we are doing this it helps to look back and recall the feelings that I had that day.

I know in my heart of hearts that God ordained us to adopt and that He selected Hannah Joy to be our daughter.  This song just helps me connect my head to my heart because my head keeps thinking of the thousand reasons we should not adopt but my heart knows that we should adopt.

Here are the words to that song, nothing too profound, nothing that would normally touch you at a heart level but it touched me that day and again today as I read the words and listened to the song again:

Well, I don't know if you remember me or not
I'm one of the kids they brought in from the home
I was the red-haired boy in an old green flannel shirt
You may not have seen me, I was standing off alone
I didn't come and talk to you, 'cause that's never worked before
And you'll prob'ly never see this letter anyway
But just in case there's something you can do to help me out
I'll ask you one more time

All I really want for Christmas
Is someone to tuck me in A shoulder to cry on if I lose
Shoulders to ride on if I win There's so much I could ask for
But there's just one thing I need All I really want for Christmas is a family

Well, I guess I should go ahead and tell you now
If it's really true about that list you have
Somehow I always seem to end up in a fight
But I'm really trying hard not to be bad
But maybe if I had a brother or a dad to wrestle with
Well, maybe they could teach me how to get along
And from everything I've heard
Sounds like the greatest gift on earth would be a mom

All I really want for Christmas Is someone to tuck me in A shoulder to cry on if I lose Shoulders to ride on if I win There's so much I could ask for But there's just one thing I need All I really want for Christmas Is someone who'll be there To sing me "Happy Birthday"  For the next 100 years

And it's OK if they're not perfect Well, even if they're a little broken, that's alright 'Cause so am I       Well, I guess I should go It's almost time for bed And maybe next time I write you I'll be at home 'Cause all I really want for Christmas Is someone to tuck me in   Tell me I'll never be alone Someone whose love will never end Of all that I could ask for Well, there's just one thing I need All I really want for Christmas All I really want for Christmas is a family

Just a family   That's all I really need

  

The 17th stocking

So the past couple of weeks I have touched on the 17 stockings on our fire place.  Up 4 from last year at this time. 

Anyone that know the two of us knows that we are very passionate about our kids and about adoption in general.  It has amazed me how we have fallen head over heals in love with each of our children even before we met them.    God places a love in a parents heart and bonds them to a child in a way that is hard to explain.  I felt an example of this recently and will talk more about that in a bit.

So you are still asking what about the last stocking?   Hang in there! 

For the past year or so, Robin has been wanting to adopt again.  I have been very clear that unless God made it abundantly clear we were to start again, I was finished.  However we agreed to pray together about it.  My consistent prayer has been "God either take this desire away from Robin or give it to me, Just please make us of one heart about this".  It took time but He did just that. 

Well in September a little girl came into our path.   She is from Southern China very near where Laura is from.   We were offered the opportunity to look at her file.  We decided to review the file and pray about it.  Over the following week, a number of things happened that made it very clear that this very well could be our child, so we stepped out on faith and began the process for our 6th adoption.

So the 17th stocking belongs to Hannah Joy our 9th child and 4th daughter.  We hope to go get her some time next summer.   She is currently 6 years old very close in age to Joshua.

We are trusting that God has this entire situation under His control and will provide for our needs as we go through this process.  We are trusting that He is taking care of Hannah until we can get there and that He will pave the way for us to get all of the paperwork and approvals out of the way and make the trip to become her "Forever Family"

 Here is a picture of our newest addition, soon to be Hannah Joy Collier.

Back to that bond I talked about.   On our trip at Thanksgiving we were listening to Christmas music as we traveled and a song came on "All I Really Want for Christmas" by Steven Curtis Chapman.   More on that song in the next blog.   The words tore at my heart and brought me to tears.  I found my heart breaking at the realization that my daughter would not be with our family this year that she would be in an orphanage half way around the globe, not knowing that a family was waiting to come get her and make a loved daughter, our child.   Imagine being in a place where all you really want for Christmas is a family?   That breaks my heart.

Next blog we will look at the words of the song and dig a bit deeper into that. 

So there you have it the mystery of the 17th stocking is solved.  I will be doing more blogging to keep everyone informed as we go through this process.

Thanks for following along.

Fear and God Appointments

Fear can at times be overwhelming.   Satin uses fear to keep us from stepping out in faith or to make us question our decisions.  It undermines our faith.

But when the Devil is taking shots at us  at the same time God can put the right person at the right time and place to reassure our faith and to refocus us on God.

I have been struggling a lot this week with a leap of faith we are taking.  The devil has used every opportunity to make me question our decision.  He will make me think about my age, how can we ever afford that?   Is your God big enough to handle this?   Will God let me fail?  Wow that is a lot of money?  Wow I will never get to retire?   These are just some of the questions that have been running through my head.

Friday was a particularly  difficult day when I questioned the decision and was ready to say NO!   That evening I ran into a trusted friend and adviser.  His first question took us into a deep discussion.  He did not talk much but mostly listened to me talk.  Through talking to him and listening to my own words, I realized that my God is bigger than all the questions above, He is bigger than my fears and doubts.  He can move mountains and make things happen.   Amazing how that little God appointment was just what I needed.  I had come to the church a little early to pick up the boys and he was accidentally early, but was actually just on time for what I needed.

I have to stay focused and not let my fears and the head games that the devil plays get me down.  I need to trust that God is in control and will walk us through this road.

That 17th stocking is still scaring me to death but I know it is in His will and that it is part of His plan for us.   More on that in the coming days.

There is a song by For King and Country that I really like right now, "I Choose Joy". 

here are a few of the words:

Lately, I've been reading, watching the nightly news
Don't seem to find the rhythm, just wanna sing the blues
Feels like a song that never stops
Feels like it's never gonna

Gotta get that fire, fire, back in my bones
Before my heart, heart, turns into stone
So somebody please pass the megaphone
I'll shout it on the count of three
One, two, three

Oh, hear my prayer tonight, I'm singing to the sky
Give me strength to raise my voice, let me testify
Oh, hear my prayer tonight, 'cause this is do or die
The time has come to make a choice

And I choose joy
Let it move you, let it move you, let it move you
Yeah, I choose joy
Let it move you, let it move, let it move you

I need that joy, joy, joy, joy

Down in my heart, down in my heart to stay
I need that joy, joy, joy, joy
Down in my heart, down in my heart to stay