Are you All In?

You never know how adoption will impact you or those around you.    In a little less than 2 weeks one of our sons will marry a wonderful young lady.   Funny part is how they initially met.

Back when our son was a new transfer student at his university a young lady heard that a new guy was on campus and that he had 3 sisters from China.  This girl had always wanted to adopt and wanted to get to know this guy.   Well they first became friends and then eventually started dating and will marry soon.   How neat to think that us adopting the girls led to this initial interest.

We now wonder will they adopt?  If so when and from where?   I know they both have a heart for adoption and that excites me.

How does it impact others around you?   Trust me if you talk with me for more than a few minutes you will learn that I have a heart for adoption and we will be talking about it.   Many of our friends are from the adoptive family community.   It has a profound impact.

I guess you can say that we are "All In" when it comes to caring for children and adopting.  What does it mean to be all in?  To be all in you have to give everything and hold nothing back.  You have to be intentional, you need intensity and it will lead to an investment.   A young lady this week said "If I am not all in am I in at all?  Wow a lot of wisdom in that statement.

This week I was talking with a nurse at my doctors office and she just could not understand how someone could adopt.  "All that money"  "It cost $240,000 to get a child through high school" and on and on and on she went.   I explained that if adopting was a calling you felt the money was not a factor and that even having additional biological children was often a calling.    After I walked away it occurred to me, what is she investing in?   I wonder do they have a huge house?   Do they drive new cars?  Do they have a boat or jet ski's?   Do they pay big money for season tickets to see some sports team play?  Do they eat out 5 times a week?   What have they invested in?   Not that any of this is necessarily bad but just that we have chosen to invest in another area.  We feel that God called us to raise children and to adopt and therefore we have invested in that area.   We have chosen to stay in our home and not dream of a bigger newer house.  We chose to drive older cars, to not have boats and other toys. It is a choice and we don't regret it. 

Today in church our pastor talked about priorities and that you can only have one main priority in life and that you need to be able to identify that one priority.  For me it did not require much thought God is first and family is second.  3 of the results of our main priority after God were sitting with me and their mother and their 3 older brothers were in various places in multiple states and their younger brother was nearby in church too.   We believe that as a result of God being a priority in life he led us to adopt and to follow Him in that way.

What is your main priority in life?  Are you "All In"?  Is God first?   What has being "All In" cost you?  Are you intentional, intense and invested?   Is your main priority the right priority or should you be seeking what the real priority should be?   Be willing to put your hand to the plow and seek the treasure that God has for you.  Invest in the things that matter.   For you that may be much different than it has been for us.   We feel confident that our main priority is the right one for us and are very thankful for where it has led us.

Thought for this week.  What are you "All In for"?

What is Courageous Faith

So what is courageous faith?  Is it jumping out of an airplane?  Is it a firefighter running into a burning building (been there done that plenty of times)?  A police officer in a gun battle?   A soldier defending our freedoms?  A diver diving off a cliff?    There are so many things that we could say take courageous faith and they take a lot of courage and a lot of faith in something.

The kind of courageous faith I am talking about is the faith in God to follow a still small voice when he calls you to do something.   To follow when he puts a burden on your heart.   This too takes courage and faith in God.    Often it can take a LOT of FAITH in GOD and a willingness to step outside your comfort zone! 

I believe that often God places opportunities in front of us and there are times that He clearly wants us to go through one door in particular.  Other times there may be 2 or 3 doors and it may not be so clear which one is the right one.    One could be easy and you would still be within God's will.  The other may clearly have challenges, cost and chances of pain but you know that if you walk through that door there are likely blessings that will be bestowed on you if you are just willing to take that first step and follow. 

On some of these doors once you step through you see more of the picture and it becomes more clear what is before you. Other times you walk through the door and a light shines on the next step or two and you have to keep taking steps to have more revealed to you.   These are the doors that often take courageous faith.   Walking in the dark and allowing Him to shine the light where he wants you to go.   Not knowing how it will all turn out or what obstacles lay in the path that could trip you.   At these times you have two choices, to turn back and refuse to follow or to walk slowly and hold the Masters hand and allow Him to show you the way, trusting totally in Him to keep you from falling.   In many ways this type walk takes more courage than jumping off a cliff.

What is He asking you to do that is hard?  What doors are before you?   Do you know which one to select?  Is there a clear path?  Do you have the faith to follow?  Do I have the faith to follow, some days I wonder! 

What does all of this have to do with adoption?  I can tell you from our adoption journeys that we have walked through some of these dark doors and we have seen the hand of God at work.  We have had front row seats to some miracles.   We have seen blessings that we would have totally missed had we taken the easy road.   We have received blessings from our children, from friends that we would have never known had we not gone through these doors.  We may never know all of the blessings that resulted from a simple choice to say yes.    Some other time I may detail out some of these blessings and miracles we have seen.

Could we have taken the easy road and still been within God's will?  Probably!  Did we always pick the right door?  I doubt it.  Are there more doors to choose from?  Sure there are!   Will it be scary?  You bet it will be.  I can say that it has not always been easy, it often does not make sense from an earthly perspective and we usually can only see a short distance ahead.    I can also say that we have no regrets for going down this road.  We are so thankful that we have seen the gospel lived out through adoption.

No matter if it is adoption or another door that God places before you, prayerfully consider the opportunities that God gives you and be willing to walk with Him leading you.  You never know what blessings you will find along the way.

Couragious Faith and Some just don't get it

Anyone that has ever adopted has likely run into the family member or friend that just does not get it.  We have gone through this.  When we first told my dad that we were adopting Laura he did not understand why after having 3 boys we would want to adopt a little girl.  He did not understand why we wanted to go to China?  He just did not get it.  I told him that we felt this was a path that God had for us and that if he had questions about it he knew God's number and he could call and discuss it with Him.

It is hard when those closest to us don't understand something we are doing or when they reject it.  This is when you have to lean on your faith and follow where God is trying to lead you.   It may not be easy it may not make sense but if you feel this is the path you are to be on then follow it.

Last week we had a study of Courageous faith, we talked about Joshua and other examples of just stepping out and trusting!.   One illustration that resonated with me was in the Indiana Jones movie when he is on that cliff and his book tells him there is a trail there but he can not see it.   He takes that huge step out over the unknown.  If he is wrong he will fall to his death.   His foot hits the path and only then can he see the reality of what is in front of him.   

Lately we have been trying to see the trail and know where to step and it is amazing that when you take that first step it becomes more clear.

Another example from last week was the song Ocean's by Hillsong United.  The words say "Your grace abounds in deepest waters, your sovereign hand will be my guide.  Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me, You've never failed and You won't start now.   So I will call upon Your name, and keep my eyes above the waves. When oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace.  For I am Yours and You are mine."  

It goes on to say:  " Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me.  Take me deeper than my feet could ever wonder and my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior."

This spoke volumes to me and reminded me that when we are in waters that are over our head that if we are following His leading he will be there to keep us from drowning.   The hard part is taking that first step to a path you can't see or jumping into deep and rough waters it takes trust and faith.

Getting back to my dad, he finally got it.   It took time, all through the process he refused to talk about adoption and had no interest at all.   It was after we got home, when he and Laura met, I was able to watch a miracle as he fell in love with his granddaughter.  He loved all of the girls so much, unfortunately he never got to meet Shaun.  But I am thankful to say I was there to see it when he got it.

Next post I may talk about other miracles that  we have seen as we have walked the adoption journey.  It has been so interesting to see God at work up close and personally.   On our recent vacation I met a man (minister) and we started talking and somehow got on the topic of adoption.  He was very interested and said "I bet you have seen God at work through your adoptions?"  We shared some stories and he ended by saying "you need to write a book"  Wow another interesting thought. 

Oh well enough for now I will share some additional ramblings soon. For now Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders!

Some History and Background

For those of you that know us well and have followed our story this may be a bit repetitive.  For those that have not followed so long then it may educate you a little about us.

Back in about 1996 Robin and I both heard a news story on the radio about the situation with little girls in China.  That evening at dinner it came up and I said "someone needs to do something about that", Robin said "I think we are supposed to do something about it".   Well that night started 6.5 years of prayer, discussion, debate and fights about adopting.

I did not ever see us adopting.  I made a lot of comments about how I could never love an adopted child as much as our biological sons.   I talked about the fact that our boys were reaching an age where we would have some freedom.   I had a thousand reasons why we could not adopt.   The fact that Robin felt so called to adopt and that I did not was a wedge between us.   I was stone cold against it.

Fast forward to 2003, and we end up at a conference that was my idea and the opening entertainment was non other than Steven Curtis Chapman.   He shared their adoption testimony and I had heart surgery that night, performed by God right there in my seat.   My heart melted and I knew we had been called to adopt.  I thought we can do this one time!

So late that Friday night we got home and I was on the computer researching adoption.   We made sure the boys were on board and they were so the next week we started the process.  This led to Laura in December 2004.   While we were in China we knew we were called to do at least one more adoption.   So in 2005 we started the process for Shiyan, due to many delays it would be March 2007 before we could go get her.

Then in 2010 we would be back there again for Maria.  Who would have known that we would be called back yet again and in April 2013 , this time we were back for Shaun. 

It was all in His timing and His will.  We know that each of these children were intended for our family.   We are so thankful for each of them and for the blessings we have found through their additions to our family. 

Amazing the blessing you will find if you follow the path that is before you.   I shutter to think how different our lives would be had we said no to any of these blessings.  If you ever feel called to adopt or to follow God on any other major path, prayerfully consider it and be open to His leading.  You may never know what blessing are out there for you if you are just willing to answer when called.  A great verse to sum all of this up is Isaiah 6:8 "Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "whom shall I send? and Who will go for us?" and I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

If you ever want to learn more about adoption send us a note we will be glad to answer any questions you might have.

Thanks for following our humble little blog.  We hope you get something positive out of it.

Beyond Terrible Two's

For any of you that know us well you know that the past 15 months have been a bit of a roller coaster ride.     We received Shaun 4 days before his second birthday, just in time to receive the full benefit of the terrible twos.  Add to that a dad with a messed up wrist and three surgeries, plus all the day to day things that go with having a large family, it has been a bit of a rush.


I am so thankful that God made it abundantly clear to us that Shaun was the child for us on the day we received his referral.  We had a peace that surpassed understanding about him.  That really helped on those difficult days over the past year.  We feared many days that the terrible twos would become the trying threes.


Shaun is a wonderful little guy and we have all grown to love him so much.  However for the first year he was with us he was angry and destructive a lot of the time.   He would break things and throw tantrums.  His vocabulary was limited and adjustment was hard.   Our house had gates restricting him from getting to the girls rooms, from the TV and entertainment center etc.  It has been an obstacle course around here. But then around the time he turned 3 it was almost like we flipped a switch.   He became so loving, began talking all the time, stopped being destructive.    He loves everyone in the family but is really a daddy's boy.   He is smart, and likes to understand how things work.    He now loves to talk and can easily communicate his needs.  So as we progress gates are coming down and life is slowly returning to the new normal.


We are thankful for these improvements and are so thankful that he is part of our family.   Adoption is never easy, it begins with loss.  The loss of a child for the biological parents.  The loss of parents for a child.  Then just when the child thinks things are settling down along come new parents that don't look like them, don't smell like them and talk so funny.  And these new people upset everything and take the child to a new strange place.  Friends are now lost, food is different, language is different, everything is different!   So children react in different ways and some are like Shaun some worse.   Thankfully most of the time they do adjust, some faster than others.  We are thankful that the terrible twos seem to have stopped for us.


We are thankful that this phase of adjustment is over and that Shaun has made so much progress. 

We are also thankful for all the ways we have been blessed through adoption and are thankful that all of our children have adjusted and are as much a part of our family as anyone.   With healing comes new growth and some times the new part is stronger than what was there before.  

Well that is my ramblings for today.   Stay tuned for more.  Lots happening around, a wedding in the works, lots of family coming in, school starting back up, lots of work stuff, life happens.

The bonds and connections of adoption

This weekend we attended the annual Wanzai Sisters Reunion.    This is a gathering of some of the families that traveled to China with us when we adopted Laura.   This year the trip took us to Memphis Tennessee.   We walked and ate our way through Memphis.  We watched the marching of the ducks at the world famious Peabody Hotel, had several great meals, walked through the city, watched street performers on Beale Street, waded through the scale model of the Mississippi River at Mud Island, made crafts with the kids and caught up on what has been going on in each others lives.   Kind of like a family reunion with relatives that you rarely get to see.

Looking back to 2004 it was a cold Sunday afternoon in Nanchang, 14 families sat in a hotel conference room and waited for our names to be called to come up and meet our child. We had been together for a few short days prior to that.  We met some of the families in the airport in Japan and others at the Beijing airport and the rest once at the hotel.  We spent Friday and Saturday touring in Beijing seeing The Forbidden City, The Great Wall and other sites around the area.   Then on Sunday morning we flew off to the province where our children were from.   We got to the hotel and had to get things in order to be ready to meet our children that afternoon.   We barely sat down and we got the call, the kids are here, please proceed to the hotel meeting room. 

The kids had endured the 3 hour van ride to the capital of their province to meet their new families.  The 14 little girls that were all around 1 year old were tired and scared by the time they reached us around 4 pm.  We all sat there waiting, most of us were on our first adoption trip so had no clue what would be next.  You cold have cut the tension in the room with a knife.  When they called our names we quickly went up and were handed a child that was crying and scared.  For us it happened quickly I believe we were second. We jumped up and went to the front.  Then they called another name and the next couple would go up.  It was quick and in many ways difficult.  We met a child that did not initially like us, we smelled different we talked different, we disrupted their little lives, we turned their world upside-down.  There was a lot of crying, babies crying, parents crying, I was probably as scared as Laura was and trust me she was scared!

Job one bond with your child.  This happened more quickly for some than for others.  The first night for us was hard then on Monday we began to get into a grove. During the following days we shared meals together with our travel mates, we hung out at the hotels together and we became friends.  Our little ones played together and we all began to adjust.

Now over 9 years later we still manage to get several families together for a reunion each summer.    We share a bond, a connection that is lasting, some call it the red thread of adoption.    Our girls spent the first year of their lives in the same orphanage.   This is a key part of their life and who they are.  It is important to us that they remember this bond with each other.  We as parents share a bond, we traveled together half way around the world, some of us scared to death and wondering how we got there.   We supported each other during the trip.  We connected and developed lasting friendships that are a true blessing.  

We have traveled this adoption journey 4 times and I am so thankful that this first travel group stays in touch and that we are able to stay connected as our daughters grow up.  This is one of the blessings of adoption.  Just think we now have friends in Illinois, Georgia, Indiana, Texas, Kansas, Pennsylvania, Michigan and other states thanks to a trip to meet our daughter.  These are people we likely would have never met, lives we would have never been blessed to interact with.  

Adoption brings many challenges and many blessings and this is just one of the added bonuses that some are blessed to receive.   We are thankful for the Wanzai reunion and thankful for the years that we have been able to attend.   The worst part is that it only lasts a weekend.   It is hard to say goodbye at the end knowing it may be a year or more before you see most of the families again.   But in the end we are very thankful that we were able to attend and look forward to the next gathering.

Below are a few photos from this years journey to Memphis on Fathers Day Weekend.

 The group at a park.  Note that our other kids have just become a part of the group too.

 Some of the dads hanging out and catching up.

 The girls taking a well deserved break

 Getting ready to say goodbye for this year.

We are so thankful that God called us to adopt. It has truly changed our lives forever and in a wonderful way.  If you ever feel God calling you to adopt, listen to the call you never know what blessings are just around the corner and you never know how it will change your life in a wonderful and lasting way.

And a chapter closes

Today we attended the college graduation of one of our sons.  It was bittersweet.    We are so happy for him completing his education.  We look forward to his upcoming marriage to a wonderful young lady.  We look forward to moving him to his first apartment for his first real adult job.  And most of all we look forward to watch and see how God  will use him.    This all excites us a lot.

At the same time it was sad to see his time at the University end.  He made so many good friends.   We have so enjoyed getting to know some of these friends and to spend time with them.  Some of these young men have spent time in our home, we have shared meals with them and they have become a valued part of our lives.   We were blessed to spend time with a couple of these guys this weekend and really enjoyed our time with Andrew and Joseph and are so thankful for the role they have played in Aaron's life.

We know it is sad for Aaron to see this chapter of his life close.  We know he will miss his friends.  But it is exciting to see the enthusiasm he has about the next chapter of his life.   We know he is excited about his upcoming marriage and new job.    So today tears were shed.  Tears of sadness for a chapter that is closing.  Tears of rejoicing over the accomplishment of one of our children.  Tears of anticipation for what is next.  And most importantly tears of gratefulness for the ways God has blessed his life and how He has used Aaron and for how He will use him in the future.

So as a chapter closes another opens and such is life for most of us.  We can't stay stranded in what is comfortable, we must press on and follow where God leads us and try to be sensitive to His leading in our lives. 

We are proud of you Aaron and know that the future will be bright and that this chapter closing and this new open beginning is the first of many transitions like this as you progress through life.  Seize the day!

1 year ago

Hard to believe that 1 year ago yesterday we were in China receiving Shaun.   He has come so far in many ways and has a long way to go in other areas.

He is quite the little ninja, he can sneak into a room destroy something and get out without being detected.   He can also melt your heart with his smile and laugh along with a big hug.    He is so smart and learns something new every day.

It has been a very interesting year.  Huge blessings in many ways and challenges in others.  We are thankful and blessed to have him as part of our family.

Happy Gotya Day Shiyan

Hard to believe that it has been 7 years ago yesterday since we were in  China meeting Shiyan.


Seems like she has been with us forever but oh how she has changed in those 7 years.  She was a very weak little girl and is now so strong in so many ways.


That day 7 years ago was so hectic after 7 hours stuck in the Beijing airport and then we finally made it to her town and rushed over to receive her before the government office closed for the day.  She was so happy to see us and saw Robin and said Momma immediately.  She warmed up to the entire family right away.

We are so thankful to have her as part of our family and love her so much.  We thank God for bringing us together and for all the ways He has blessed us.

Wow Hard to Believe

Wow it is hard to believe that 4 years ago today we were in China receiving Maria.  We had met her a few days earlier at New Day and finally the big day had come.  However getting from Beijing to Zhengzhou was something from a movie script.

On that Sunday morning January 3rd we got up to snow on the ground and by the time we reached the airport it was snowing hard.  Flights were delayed and the snow was piling up.  The lady at our gate kept saying one moment.   Soon you could tell that we were not going anywhere that day.    We kept pushing them for answers.  We knew that Maria was on a train headed to Zhengzhou and that we needed to get there too.   After 12 hours stuck in the airport we  pushed our guide to get us out of the airport to Laura and Shiyan could get some rest.  It was after 10 before we got out of the airport and we ended up back at the hotel after midnight.  I remember we got a room with a view of Tienanmen Square (big deal).   We got to bed and some time during the night they called to tell us to be up early to take the train.  God showed up along the way and took care of so many things for us during those two days.

Then finally we were there and Maria became our daughter, what a glorious day.

In other news it has been a while since we posted, sorry for that but it has been crazy.   At Thanksgiving our oldest son and his wife came to visit for a week.  This was the first time we had all 7 kids in the same place since the addition of Shaun.   It was great having all the kids together.

Then before you knew it we were into Christmas.  We celebrated Laura's gotya day in December. Add to that surgery twice for dad to repair a wrist issue and wow the time has flown by.  Christmas was great.  Aaron and Stephen were home.  Aaron's fiance came to visit for several days and we were all able to enjoy a lot of family time.   We are truly blessed in so many ways.

We will update as we have major events.  Thanks for continuing to follow along.

Kitchen Friendships

Some years ago we had a youth pastor that would talk about the levels of relationships.   I do  not remember all the specifics but the basics are you have different levels of friends and he related it to areas of your home.  I do distinctly remember the highest level of friendship and that is the point of this post.

The lowest level are front yard friends, those that you see in the yard and say hello and that is it.  Minimal conversation and very superficial relationship.

Then there are foyer friends, those that come in the front door but conversation is news / weather level.  They really don't fully come into the home.

Next are living room friends, they come in sit down and talk a while.  The relationship is a bit deeper.

Then the deepest level of friendship is the kitchen friend.  They come in and sit down at the table with you in the kitchen where the life of the family is.   These friends have a cup of coffee or tea, grab a bite to eat and the conversation is very deep and the friendship is very close.

Our kitchen is where life happens for us.  It is where we spend time as a family every day as we try to eat together every night and the kids all have breakfast together every morning.  It is where we have talked to our kids.  Where our kids have sat with their friends.  It is where we have played countless games of canasta and Texas Train Dominoes with our friends. It is where we have shared many meals with close friends.  It is where we spend time with our boys when they are home.

We are blessed to have a number of kitchen friends and are thankful when they come over and share a meal with us and chat around the kitchen table.  This weekend we took it to the next level.  We are currently in the process of repainting all our kitchen cabinets and trim and to say the least the kitchen is a bit of a mess.   So what does my loving wife do, she decides we need to cook a turkey that we have in the freezer and that two of our good friends that are single moms who have each adopted 2 daughters from China should come over to spend the evening with us and that each of them needed to bring their mothers along.    We dearly love these two ladies, their daughters and their mothers and were so thankful for the time together.   They came in jumped right into the kitchen to help get things ready no body even cared about the messy construction, the missing cabinet doors etc.  and we had a great time of fellowship and food, the girls played together, watched a movie and just hung out for a few hours.

So I believe that the saying about kitchen friends is very true and I am thankful for friends that are close enough to come into our under construction kitchen and share a meal with us. 

In other news yesterday was the 6 month anniversary of meeting Shaun in China.   6 months have flown by.  We have seen Shaun mellow out a lot, he has grown taller, stronger, his face has filled out a lot.   He is still a bit behind on talking but can name most of the family, is constantly saying Mom or Dad.  He loves us paying attention to him.  Overall he is a mommy's boy but he loves for daddy to be the one to help him with eating.  He still can be a stinker and get into lots of things but he has also learned to sit down and play and not constantly be on the move.   I believe he is going to have  great sense of humor, if you ask him his name he will look at you, smile and say Rar ra (Laura) and then just laugh at you.  He absolutely loves to go bye bye and hates it if either of us go anywhere without him.   We are thrilled that he is part of our family and love watching him learn and grow.   

We are blessed to be his parents and are so thankful that we were able to bring him into our family.

Well back to painting and completing the project at hand.

 

A little look at part of the kitchen that is done.  Imagine this side Sunday night with no doors and partially painted.

 

 

If you don't have many Kitchen friends I encourage you to invite a friend over, have a cup of tea and a snack and turn a foyer relationship into a living room or kitchen relationship.  You will be thankful that you did.

More Good News

Well this week we were finally able to get Shaun's MRI.   Delay after delay.    The test was scheduled a couple of months ago but the day before we were to go in the machine broke.   We had to finally get moved to another hospital where they could do the MRI under sedation.   So that took more time well Tuesday was finally the day.

So we went in and he went right to sleep and the test went well it took less than an hour.   However when it was time to wake up he went crazy, he was fighting, pinching, pulling hair you name it.   Mommy was the unlucky one that had to be in with him.   They finally had to give him drugs to knock him back out, next time he work up he was fine, just very groggy.

The purpose of this was to verify that the hydrocephalies (fluid on the brain) that he was born with had truly been healed and that there were no residual effects.  Today we finally received the results.   No signs of hydrocephalies, no abnormalities, no issues.   

We are so thankful for this news.    We are thankful that God has healed him.    So the little boy that was special focus with multiple special needs, is well and normal.  Heart, healed,    Head, Healed!!  God is so good.

Shaun is still a challenge, he is very active and very strong willed.   He has a temper and will bang his head when he is angry.  This is much better than when we started in April but there is still room to improve.  He hates wearing shoes and constantly kicks them off.  If he gets tired of cloths he just takes them off.  

Pray for us to have patience with him and pray for him to mellow out a little.   We were a lot younger the last time we had a 2 year old boy in the house and never had a child as high strung as Shaun.   We love him and he can be so sweet.  He has the cutest smile and can melt your heart when he wants to.

One thing is for sure, he will keep us on our toes and will keep it lively at our house.

In other news the girls are doing great, school is off to a great start and they are all fine.   The boys are doing well too.   Life is continually changing but that is good.

Thanks for all the prayers for Shaun and for us.

Praise be to God

Today was the day for Shaun's cardiologist appointment.  He did wonderfully and was very cooperative overall.   He got frustrated during the echo toward the end but did better than we ever expected.

Echo looked great.  EKG looked great.   When the Doctor came into the room he had a med student with him.  The Doc listened to Shaun's heart and handed the stethoscope to the student and said here I want you to get use to what a normal heart sounds like.    Wow words we have prayed to hear, "The Heart is perfectly normal"

We are so thankful that God has healed the two conditions that Shaun was diagnosed with.   He is doing great and we see progress daily.    We have one concern we are still watching but continue to pray that this too is no issue.

We feel so blessed and are so thankful for this good report.   We have seen God's hand in so many ways throughout this adoption and know that He picked Shaun to be our son.  I look forward to seeing how God uses him in the years to come.

Over the river and through the woods

Over the river and through the woods to Grandmothers house we went!

We were blessed to be able to travel over the long weekend to let Shaun meet his only living grandparent.   Mammaw loved meeting him and they hit it off within a few minutes.   Shaun took right to her giving hugs etc.   He was wonderful during our visit, not getting into things much at all, behaving and not throwing tantrums.  This was so nice for us.

We saw him focus on something for the first time, we went to a parade and he loved it, he stood for an hour holding onto a fence and looking at the floats etc.   Then he was so tired that he turned around to hug Mammaw and pointed to the stroller.  I placed him in the stroller and he promptly fell asleep.

The girls were able to get in some fishing and had a blast.  Maria caught the most, and hooked a huge catfish but it got away.  Shiyan caught a very nice catfish and Laura caught a nice bass.   We really enjoyed the time with family.

Shiyan with her catfish

The girls fishing



Girls Nascar Racing

one of Maria's many fish.

Shaun having fun at mammaws

Every day gets a little better.  Routines are formed, trust is built and progress is made.

Post Placement Visit

Well tonight was our 1 month post placement visit so we thought this might be a good time for an update.

Shaun is doing great.   He is adjusting very well.  Although he is still a very strong willed  and energetic 2 year old so life around here is a bit crazy most of the time.    Shaun is bonding well with everyone, he loves playing with the girls and spending time with his brothers and parents.   His temper is more under control but still something we deal with from time to time.   He is so busy and into everything but again he is 2! He learns new things almost daily, the latest are the ability to give hugs and to say Ba Ba (Daddy) and Ma Ma (Mommy) on  a regular basis.  He has also mastered No and Bye. 

We are all getting into a routine.   The girls are trying to wrap up their school year and get into summer  break.   They love helping with and playing with Shaun.   They are like extra mothers to him.

Shaun is sleeping well most nights.   We found that he did not like a quite room so a little background noise turned out to be a good thing with him.   Food has not been any issue, he likes just about anything you give him and is not picky most of the time.

As we saw in China he loves being outside.  However he must have never been on grass.  The first time out in the yard he sat down and cried but since then he has grown to love it and loves to play outside every chance he gets.

Well that is about it for now.  All is going well and we (Robin and I) are adapting.  There are days when he wears us down and we just collapse at the end of the day but that is OK.   We will post some photos soon.

Living in the Land of Gates

Well we have been back in the US for a week now and have been home since Tuesday night.   We are all adjusting.  Shaun does great wit the girls and Stephen.  They love playing together and we are seeing his behavior when with them improve greatly.

Bed time is another story.  This child does not need much sleep.  He can get by with a short or no nap most days and can stay up until 10 or 11 if he wants to.  If you put him to bed he throws a major fit, banging the head etc.   He some times wants to be held, other times just wants us in the room near him, figuring out what he wants is half the battle, getting him to go to sleep is the other half.  

Last night I fell asleep rocking him and he climbed down and began playing in his room.  He stayed up until about 10:30 when Aaron and his friends from college came in the house.  The kids were so loud I thought he will never go to sleep. Within a few minutes he was out and never moved.   Noise does not seem to be a problem and may actually be soothing to him.

Back to the title.  We feel like we are in training for a hurdle race.  We are constantly having to step over gates to get around the house.   The front stairs are gated, the back stairs are gated, the foyer is gated and then there is the floating gate that is used to keep him in or out of any specific area of the house.  We have had to start keeping our bedroom door closed all the time as he gets into everything in there, I guess we have a bit more child proofing to do.  This child is so busy and so curious and if one of us can not be near by to keep an eye on him the gates come into play.  Amazing how much one little 2 year old can change your routine and home.

Shaun loves being outside but apparently had not been on grass.  Last night we went out to play on the swing set and he cried any time his feet touched the grass.    Today he went to a picnic with us and did much better on grass and this afternoon he actually played out there while we planted our garden.   I am guessing I will have to fence off the garden as he has already tried getting in there to help me.

This afternoon we gave him his birthday gift that was too large to take to China.  The girls loved playing with his cars and garage more than he did.  The all had fun. Shaun loved playing with the box.

All in all it has been a great week.  Shaun has met all 3 of his brothers, his 3 sisters and his sister-in-law.  He also met second brothers girl friend and two good friends from college and he has done wonderfully with everyone.    He is smiling a lot and happy most of the time.   Eating is getting to normal which is a good thing.

We feel blessed to have Shaun as part of our family.  There are trying and stressful times none the less but we will get through those.

Tomorrow will be his first time in church.  We will see how that goes.  I have a feeling that one of us will be sitting out in the commons watching on a TV.

I have added a photo montage at the top of the web site for your viewing pleasure, it will show you highlights from the entire trip.

Have a great week.

The Journey Home

all the bags ready to go

Saturday was the day to head back to the US.   We were up at 5 am (4 pm Friday at home), bags had to be picked up by 5:50 and we had to be on the bus at 6:20 and headed to the airport.   Everyone was on time and we were off.   When we arrived at the airport we learned that the rest of the families were on another airline so Grace took us to check in with our airline.   At check-in we learned that our flight had been delayed by 1 hour which was OK since we had a 5 hour layover scheduled in Beijing.

waiting in Guangzhou

Shaun was not a good passenger on the first flight, he cried, screamed and fought us most of the way to Beijing.  The only time he was calm was when we were feeding him.

In Beijing he did fine other than he did not like to have shoes on.   Getting through Beijing airport is terrible.  You have to pick up all of your bags and get them on a cart and move to another terminal.   Robin got instructions from a lady and they were wrong.  They always tell you to turn left.  We bumped into another family that was traveling to Seattle and they showed us to the elevators.   It was about a 10 minute walk to the international terminal.  My luggage cart was so loaded and Robin was pushing the stroller.   We asked the information desk for directions and were told go 100 meters and turn left.   When we went what seemed like 100 meters the men’s room was on the left.  We started backtracking and found 2 others from our flight and several other Americans all looking for the place to check in for our flights. Turns out there is a little sign painted on the floor that a guy noticed and it advises you to go through the security line and check in on the other side.  We went that way and found the correct counter to check in for our flight. 

Check in went smooth then we were off to Customs and Immigration counters.  At Immigration we bumped into another family from our travel group and ended up having dinner with them since we all had time before our flights.

We made it to the gate and only had about 30 minutes to kill and then it was time to fly again.   Seating could have been better.  I had the window, Shaun had the isle and Robin had the seat across the aisle from us.  So daddy had Shaun duty for the long flight.   Overall he was a great passenger on this flight.  He slept some, ate, slept a little more.  He would not watch TV so keeping him entertained was fun at times.  He head butted me a few times, slapped me, drooled on me, cried some and screamed a few times.  But compared to flight number 1 he was great.

He does not like being belted in so on the landing approach to Seattle I just held him.  They asked me to seat him and I said last week he was a lap child so we are going to do it this way.  In Seattle we made it through the first step of immigration quickly and then they took us along with the famous brown envelop over to another counter that only had 1 agent working and he had a line of immigrants in wheel chairs.  He informed us that he had to take care of wheel chairs first and there were 3 others ahead of us after that.    Finally we had our turn and they processed Shaun and he became a citizen of the US.  He slept through the entire waiting and process.  The agent was very nice just he needed help at that area.

We had several hours to kill so walked around a bit, sat a little, called friends etc.   Finally it was time to fly to Boise.   Shaun was not a good traveler on this leg either, he hit and screamed unless you were feeding him Cheerio’s.   Thankfully this was a short flight. 

We met up with Andrew, Kim and the girls. It was so good to see everyone and to have 5 of our 7 kids in one place finally.   Shaun took to Andrew, Kim and the girls quickly and even warmed up to their dog.   He had so much fun playing that he stayed up until 10 pm and we had to force him to bed then. 

His first night of sleep was fairly good and today he has had fun spending time with family.

Robin with Shiyan, Laura, Andrew and Shaun

I have to say that in many ways this has been the most difficult adoption trip we have ever made.  It was hard leaving our other kids behind.  The boys all have their own routines so we don’t miss them as much but we missed the girls terribly the entire trip.   Robin has been sick with a bad cough since the day before we left for the trip.  I had the stomach thing in China and many from our group were also impacted by this stomach thing, I have never had anything like this.  Shaun has presented several challenges, his coping mechanisms seem to be eating and anger.   He has hit at us, slapped us, head butted us, etc.  He can be totally unresponsive at times and does not like English.   Often it seems he would have preferred to be with anyone other than us.    It is difficult when you are trying to love a child and he would rather be with anyone that speaks Mandarin.  He will reach for waitress to hold him he strains to listen to anyone speaking his language.   Then there are times when you get that laugh and smile and you know it is all worth it.   The anger is getting better, the laughs are more frequent by the day.   We still have a few more flights to make it home from this stop over and we pray that he does well on these.  

On the positive side, the weather in China was nearly perfect.  It was warmer than expected in Zhengzhou but overall good. The smog was clearer than we ever expected.  We had an excellent travel group and made some new friends.  The weather in Guangzhou was great, it has been the rainy season and had rained daily for weeks but during our stay we only had a few sprinkles.  We got out of the country before the earthquake hit, we had no major flight delays or issues.  So overall a lot of blessings in there too.  We are so thankful for the blessings and answered prayers from this trip. 

Today we have enjoyed time with Andrew and Kim.  We went out to see some sites and have enjoyed being together.

Andrew, Kim and the girls

Us on Table Rock overlooking Boise

Thank you to each of you that followed the journey and for those that prayed for us during this trip. 

Last Day in China or Lost in China?

Friday April 19, 2013

Today was mostly a free day so we were able to sleep a bit later than normal.  We met up with several other families for breakfast, were able to Skype with Andrew and the girls and then headed out for the day.  We decided to start the day walking on Shamian Island.  We got there early enough to see many of the locals in the park still doing Ti-Chai and other exercises.   Some ladies were doing fan dances, many were playing with hacky-sacks.  It was so good to just stroll around and enjoy the sites and sounds of the area.

guys playing hacky sack

man exercising with sword

 

 

I have to say we both really miss being on the island.  Being over in the main city is not nearly as nice.   We did not have any intentions of shopping today but did stumble into one great deal that we could not pass up so the girls are getting one extra gift from China this trip. 

Shaun was not a happy camper in the cab today, he threw a fit just about every time we got into a cab to go somewhere.

After strolling on the island we headed over to the pearl market just to browse around a bit.  When we arrived the taxi had brought us to an area we had never been. I thought he had taken us to the wrong place.  We walked around a bit and finally found the building we were looking for.   We looked around a bit and talked to this one shop keeper and asked where we could find food, I thought there was a Pizza Hut there but she pointed us out the back of the building, so we went out and into this little street market and walked around a bit, Robin in her infinite wisdom said go toward McDonalds, Pizza Hut is likely close. Sure enough we went around the corner and found exactly what I was looking for.  Funny part is we were about 200 feet from where we started, the directions we received were terrible. 

this mall is nothing but jewlery stores of all kinds

Pizza Hut menu sample

Pizza Hut was great, Bacon Wrapped Shrimp Pizza and an order of fried rice for Shaun.  Pizza Hut here is amazing, they have anything from Pizza to Steak on the menu. 
After lunch Robin had to head to the little girls room so Shaun and I waited by Pizza Hut after quite a while I became concerned that she had not come back so we started down the hall to find her and realized that the restrooms were around a few corners and at that point I feared that Robin was likely lost.  She had no money, no passport only a hotel key.    Within a few moments we saw her back up by Pizza Hut.   She had made a wrong turn and received directions similar to what we received earlier in the day.

Oh one good thing happened while mommy was missing, Shaun finally decided to say Ba Ba (daddy), he just kept saying it over and over.  He did great this afternoon and has had so much fun.

full belly happy boy

Now that we were all reunited we headed down to the market area to stroll around a bit  At this market they sell everything you can imagine on a stick, frog, beef, chicken, pork, squid you name it they sell it and cook it.   We mingled around a bit there checking out the crowd and taking in all the sounds and smells.   Then it was time to head back to the hotel for the afternoon and time to pack.

shopping area.  Food below was here.

vairous foods on a stick.  No we did not try it.

Back at the hotel we learned that Shaun has quite an arm, he can really throw a ball and is pretty accurate but he can no catch at all.  He loves to throw a ball with either of us.   He is so full of life and energy.

On a side note we have had a number of folks in this travel group get the stomach bug over the past week. I believe I was first but it has been going around.  Several of the families started the journey home today so please keep them in your prayers.  I hope that they get well quickly and have safe travel back to their homes across the US.  It is sad to see the travel group start splitting up and heading home but that is the purpose of this trip, come get your child, handle the paperwork and get home and return to normal life.

Well I guess this is the final update from China for early in the morning we head to the airport for the 24 hours of flights to get us back to the US.  We fly out about 7:30 (Friday evening home time) and land at our first US stop about 6 Saturday evening.

Thanks for following along with us on this journey to bring Shaun home.  We will continue to update the site from time to time. We really appreciate all of you checking out our post and being a part of this trip.

 

Consulate Day

Thursday April 18, 2013

Today was the long awaited Consulate appointment.  We had to be up very early so we could get ready, grab breakfast and be on the bus headed over there for our 8:30 appointment.   You have to go through security to get into the Consulate area.  No electronics or camera’s permitted.

We all were seated and finally a lady from the Consulate came to the window and spoke through speakers to give us the rundown on what would happen, what paperwork we would receive and the process of coming home with our new child.  She then had us take the oath that all of our paperwork and information was correct to the best of our knowledge.  Kind of anticlimactic.  Then one family by one you go to the window and present your paperwork.   After the first few families I joked to Robin that someone had to go last, well guess what we got to go last.  Really did not matter as no one was going back to the hotel until we were all done in any case.

After the Consulate we came back to the hotel.  I had a meeting at 11:15 to go over all the travel items for the next couple of days.   Shaun finally took a short nap.   After nap time we took a walk down to the shopping area to pick up his stone etching. It turned out very nicely.   We checked out a few of the shop keepers and really did not find anything we had to have.   We walked across the street and checked out the Fashion Trade Center, it was a strange mall with a lot of empty stores and a number of closed stores. 

lady working on Stone etching like she did of Shaun.

Shaun was a bit restless so we went down to the outside play area in the courtyard of the hotel.  Shaun loved swinging and walking around. 

He loved being in the swing.

To wrap up the evening we walked down to a local Cantonese place and had a wonderful dinner.  After we got Shaun settled down we started the process of splitting things up between bags, trying to balance out the weight and to make sure any items we purchased are properly padded and cared for.   Hard to stay under that magic 50 pound per bag number but we should be able to make it.  So glad we brought our little baggage scale with us, it has been so handy.

he was spread out in the bed tonight.

Tomorrow is the last full day in China.  We head back to the US early Saturday morning here, Friday evening there.   We will be in airports or flying for just over 24 hours but then we get to see 4 of our kids and spend time with them.  We are ready to get home.  Pray for Shaun to travel well, he is still dealing with some temper issues and he does not talk much yet so communicating his needs is difficult at best.   We pray that he travels well and that he can sleep some on the flights but not too much.

 

Shamian Island

Wednesday April 17, 2013

Today was a free day.   This morning we were able to spend some time with our friend Shiyan.   It was great spending time visiting with her.  This is the lady that our Shiyan is named after, she helped facilitate our first 2 adoptions.

Shiyan, Shaun and Robin

 

After that we headed over to Shamian Island.  This is the area where all the adoptive families previously would stay.   We have stayed on the island on our 3 previous trips.  There are many shops and places to purchase souvenirs.  We have gotten to know some of the shop keepers over the years.  But this visit was different.  Since the US Consulate moved off of the island and then the White Swan Hotel closed for renovations there are not nearly as many people there.   Many shops are closed and others have moved.  The shops that are still there will haggle and deal with you on items and that is fun for me.

a view from the island.

You know you have spent too much money over the years in the shops when you are in your second shop of the day and look on the side of the Pepsi cooler and see a photo of your wife wearing a Chinese outfit that the shopkeeper made for her several years ago.  Then in the same shop you go over to the picture frames and see the same wife again in one of the picture frames.   I told the shop keeper I needed a better deal since they were using Robin in advertising.   She treated me pretty fair on the items we purchased.

a photo of Robin that we found in a shop today.

 

It was sad to see that shops so empty and business so poor for these shop keepers.  We purchased several items we needed and were able to visit with several of the shop keepers we knew. Several shops told us we were the first customers of the day, I know they some times say this to try and get you to deal but it was slow most of the day, rarely anyone other than us in a shop at one time.  The island is beautiful and the flowers were in full bloom.   We had a great day on the island and enjoyed all the sites.

In the background the White Swan all covered up and being rebuilt.

  

shops along the street toward the White Swan.

It was sad to see the White Swan all covered up and under construction.  It was also sad to wonder what this area will be like in the coming years with all the changes and to wonder what will happen with the shop keepers. 

our traditional photo with the adoption statue.

On the island they have a lot of statues that show life on the island.   Above is a photo of us with the statue that depicts how they see the adoptive family.  American balding man with 2 camera's, overweight American woman, pushing Chinese baby in stroller,.   Gee that is not us at all!

This evening Shaun was wiped out so we decided to stay in the room.   We had never tried Papa Johns in China and since they deliver we gave it a try.  I have to say it was great.  After dinner Shaun was playing in front of my desk and after a few minutes I noticed he was asleep by my feet in the floor.  He has been sleeping soundly all evening,.

Tomorrow is our Consulate appointment so we are to be up early and on the way there.  This is the last official thing in this adoption.  Pray that the paperwork all processes without complications and that Shaun’s entry visa is granted so we can head home this weekend.   We are all ready to get back home and back to our routines.