A year ago today

Hard to believe that on July 3rd last year, Robin, Maria, Joshua and I were on a plane headed to Beijing.    So much has changed in that year.  No international travel, a global pandemic, cancer, Hannah joining the family and more.

We have not said much about Hannah's condition on here and I will limit my comments still.  I will just say Hannah is very complicated.   She was much more serious than we were led to believe.  The agency and the orphanage out right lied to us.   Everything is difficult for Hannah.  She is very delayed and likely will never catch up due to a number of issues.    We are blessed in the fact that she has a sweet disposition and usually is very happy.  We are so thankful for that.

Hannah as we met her.  Scared about all of this unsure about what was happening to her.

The past year has been a lot of us learning how to best care for Hannah and had to provide for what she needs.   It has been a long frustrating year.   Every day I see a little more of the story and I am beginning to see God's hand in this a lot more than I did at first.   There have been stories and pod cast that have talked about special needs kids and the blessing they can be.  But when you are faced with a mountain it is hard to see the blessings in that. 

The first thing was dealing with the loss.  The loss of the dream we had of the child we were adopting.  The realization that this was not the child we were receiving. There was loss in this,  there was hurt in this. The feelings of betrayal from our adoption agency and our advocate.  The feeling of being lied to and misled.   The feeling of the insurmountable mountain that was before us.  There were days of praying "God why did you pick us, why are we here, how can we do this, did we make a mistake, did we step outside Your will for us?".   And looking back now a year later and seeing God's hand along the way, places where he carried us through hard times.

Hannah has and will continue to require a lot of one on one attention, she gets multiple therapies, PT, OT and Speech.  Learning a new language has been an extreme challenge but thankfully she understands virtually everything we tell her.  She will never be like the other kids and I am learning a little more each day that that is OK.

So we got to China July 4th last year, we spend a few days in Beijing before heading to Nanchang where we would meet Hannah on Monday July 8th.  Day 1 we suspected a few things with her and over the coming days we would begin to peel the onion and figure out more, then the huge realization of just how complicated she might be, and we would not understand the full impact until we would return home and get more test results from Trusted physicians.

We had some long conversations from China with close friends, with our other kids, with doctors we know, trying to figure out what was going on and what her needs would be.  We were so blessed to have trusted people we could open up with and have deep hurtful conversations.  We were so proud of how our other younger kids and adult kids came around us and said we are all in this together.

We made it home and thought we were rocking along and then the first week of January the call that Robin had cancer.   Wow another gut punch.  But even in this God was with us and He opened doors for the right physicians and for things to move quickly and for a smooth recovery.    Then Radiation started in March about the same time that COVID 19 shut down the world.   But again God walked us through this too.  I was blessed to be working from home during this time.  Robin never missed an appointment and completed her treatment remaining healthy.

Also during this time Hannah had a couple of minor surgeries and continued to progress slowly.
So here we are a few months later, approaching the first year anniversary of meeting Hannah.   She seems to love all of us, she is talking some and generally has a smile on her face. 

A recent picture taken by Shiyan

So here we are, 12 months into a long journey.   Most days I see and feel God's hand in all of this but it has been a hard ride and has put stress on all of us.  There have been challenges and tears.  There have been joys and sorrows. 

We can not say enough about how our family and our church have come around us during this time.   I hate to think what the last year would have been like without our life group from Church.  They have encouraged us, brought meals and helped us along the way through likely the most difficult year we have experienced in our adult lives.

We are hopeful that Hannah will blow us away with her progress and we anxiously await seeing what God will do in her life and how He will use her to shape our lives in the process.

Thanks to those that have come along side us and encouraged us, prayed for us and prayed for Hannah.  Keep the prayers going.