The Cost of Adoption

I believe I have written about this before but maybe not the same perspective.

We are in the final days before we head to meet Joshua. A week from now we will be landing in his country and will be hours from meeting him.   We will gain a son and will have great joy.  For him it will be a day of sadness, a day when everything that has been normal to him is taken away.  He won't understand why he is being taken away from his friends and caregivers.  He won't understand why these people that look different, smell different and talk different are coming into his life.   He will pay a high cost initially for this change to take place.   In the long run he will have  a much better life and he will benefit, but initially the cost to him will be great.

This has been one of those hectic weeks and one where we have seen some of the cost of adoption.    Today alone we wrote over $9000 in checks to cover travel expenses, plane tickets, in country travel etc. We know that we will spend another $8000 in the next 2 weeks as we complete the process.  Throughout the process fees for this and fees for that.  So yes there is a monetary cost but we knew this going in and understand that.

Lets talk about the cost of time and energy and convenience etc.   There are hours and hours of paperwork throughout the process.  There are interviews with social workers, dealing with people that you come to love, dealing with people that make you want to scream!   What seems like thousands of things to get done before travel.   Taking time away from family, from work from other commitments.   Arranging schedules to be gone.   Delaying things you want to do or need to do?  All of these are a cost.

Then lets talk about the nearly 24 hours in airports and airplanes.   15.5 hours on one flight alone.  You bet ya that this is a cost, there is nothing fun about this long in a airplane seat.  Add to this having a 4 year old at your side that wants to know what time it is every 30 seconds, yep another cost!

Cost of love, commitment and energy!   It is costly to risk bringing a new child into your family, it will be painful as we bond, it will require a lot of commitment and a lot of energy.   Robin's life will be changed as she deals with another little one around the house, another mouth to feed another child to school.  It will take so much of her energy.

Medical cost, when adopting a child with medical needs we must always consider the cost of medical treatments.   For this child we know that certain items  will not be covered by insurance so there will be a cost.

Cost to others, All of the other kids have paid a price during this process.  They have sacrificed time with us, delayed travel we wanted to take.  They will have to share their home, their toys and their parents.  For Shaun it will be a big cost as he will no longer be the baby he will have to share us and his sisters with a new brother.   We will see how he deals with the cost!

So yes there is cost from money to giving of yourself.     Why do I tell you all of this?   Are we complaining about the financial cost?  No.   Do we regret adopting?  No, we would do it all over again!   Are we seeking your sympathy?  No.  

The reason I tell you this is so others that may consider going down this road, can thoroughly consider the cost, so that others can see the good, the bad and the ugly of adoption. 

At the end of the day yes it is costly but we have never had any regrets.   We have been so richly blessed by the addition of each of our children, both biological and adopted (is there really a difference?) and the return on investment has been great.

As an old commercial said what is the price of an adoption?  A lot of  $$$, a lot of energy, a lot time, a lot of inconvenience, a lot of travel, a lot of love and commitment.  A lot of medical cost, personal sacrifice etc.

Seeing a child become a part of a family where he or she will be loved and cared for "PRICELESS"

So yes there is a cost, but IT IS WORTH IT!!!!!!!!

Signing off for now.  We will be posting during the trip.  Gotya day will be May 4th so say a prayer for all of us on that day.  Stay tuned it is about to get interesting.